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The Champion

November 2017 , Page 36 

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Essential Courtroom Tools for the DUI Trial

By James Nesci

Let’s talk tools. But first, let’s talk about cheeseburgers. Think about a recent fast food cheeseburger ad. The burgers in those ads are nothing less than pure food porn. The beef looks thick and juicy, without a hint of grease in sight. The lettuce has just the right shades of green balanced against the bright red of two perfectly ripe tomato slices. Dots of moisture cling to the lettuce and tomato. The bright yellow corner of a cheese slice hangs down at the just the right angle — slightly melted, but not so much that it loses its shape. Everything is neatly stacked between halves of a freshly baked bun that looks so soft that it could be used for a pillow. The sesame seeds on top seem to have been placed, individually, by a master chef with tweezers. This is what cheeseburgers must look like in heaven’s cafeteria.

Compare that “ad burger” with the real ones people order every day at fast food restaurants. The bun looks like someone sat on it. The lettuce is wilted.

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